Just Another Entry

boys will be boys???

2009-05-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

pasanga... i didnt quite have any ideas about this one... but what i saw was probably not something i would have imagined in my wildest dreams... how far can you go to ensure that a movie becomes commercially viable?? the answer to that probably keeps changing every day... think about it.... what shocked my mother, doesnt shock me... what shocks me, probably doesn't shock a person 2 yrs younger than i... its funny, but it seems to me, that a "generation gap" doesn't quite mean the same thing that it did before...

well, as far as pasanga was concerned, i couldn't stomach the language that the children (if you can call them that!!!) were using... why, i haven't heard most of those words before in my life! i might be old-fashioned, but i think children must be children! their innocence is something that has to be cherished and kept alive for as long as is possible! there's all the time in the world to be a grown-up... heck! that's all you're going to be all your life anyway...

the movie doesn't deserve a scene by scene review! i'm quite out of patience with it and i don't think i'll survive reliving the whole 3 hours!! will satisfy myself with outlining a few things that i felt most strongly about!

the movie was a crash course on atrocious-things-kids-could-do-to-get-their-way... sticking a compass into a fellow student's rear and pee-ing n poo-ing on a neighbour's porch/vehicle aren't really appreciable methods! clearly the director thought otherwise!
the bad boy - Jeeva... what can i say? if i see him now, i'll give him the best slap i can manage!!!! devil child! hate his shrill voice, his wicked looks and everything he stood for in the movie! ugh!
the good boy - Anbukarasu... again! what can i say? way too big for his boots! nauseatingly good... and his love for applause - nothing short of disgusting!
ok, one thing i liked about the movie - parents shouldn't quarrel in front of their kids... good point that's been begging to be made... only i can't say i liked the way they stretched this point to the limit!
i wish someone will tell me if the character that falls in love with mr. meenakshi sundaram is called sobykannu or sophiekannu... either way the name is not to my taste... well... the romantic interludes were ummm.... nice... but again, like every other part of the movie, subjected to the chewing gum effect...
the kill bill tune was my ringtone too... the way it was played over n over again in this movie has made me change it!
this movie had me ho-ing and humm-ing throughout...
i do not, i repeat, do not think its cute when a 2 yr old child repeats cine dialogues like pichi-poduven-pichi or konnu-poduven-konnu... its plain annoying!

hmmm... i'd like to see what other people think about this movie... it may be cheered on as a brilliant effort, considering very few movies in india are made with children in view... but i do wish people involved in such projects take care to send the right message across and greater care to package it well... children are impressionable... we dont want 3 hours at the theatre doing away with all the good stuff they're made of!

Relief

2009-01-11T18:25:00.000-08:00

I wonder how many of you have actually felt this emotion... in its full measure...

I have...

16 months... setback after setback... chasing after some oasis... only to find out it's a mirage...

16 months... of waiting... hoping... praying...

16 months... of frustration... desperation...

16 months... of trudging along... hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel...

it all boiled down to 1.3 hours... that's how long the checkride was...

in the end... it was all well worth it...

i am - a Commercial Multi Engine Pilot...

Relief? oh yeah! I've experienced it... in its fullest measure...

Nothing Depressing - 1

2008-11-30T22:23:00.000-08:00

I just got off this call with my Mom... turns out a couple of her friends checked out my blog and didn't go past one entry as they found it too depressing... made me think... really... I'd always liked to think I was a jolly, fun-loving, crazy, kooky person who didn't mind spouting irrelevant nonsense and meaningless drivel if it made someone laugh... and now I'm a wet-blanket each time I can manage to be one, a negative-Nancy, a sad, depressed mopey dog, a person who almost has to be paid to smile, a woe-is-me plain Jane who is just no fun at all... the only place I'd fit right in, is at a funeral!

Why the change, you ask? refer to my previous post... or maybe you rather not... you might feel so wretched, you'd never ever check my blogs again... maybe it's time for a change... or should I say, maybe it's time to undo the change... which is why, I figured, I'd start off with a nice happy post... (I'm sure I heard those sighs of relief)... after all, who wants to read one depressing post after the other? (I guess no one does... which explains why I have the most unpopular blog on the net... :D well at least I'm superlative in one sense...)

I then wondered if I had done anything remotely funny to blog about... forget funny... anything that might make someone (/anyone) smile... it then struck me... I've never blogged about my ongoing battle... the battle of the bulge... (pilfered that from Archies comics... there! i acknowledged that fact... don't want no copyright people hounding me!)

Well, even though most people who've known me might find this hard to believe... I wasn't always fat... sigh... only I've been fat ever since I can remember.... think I was a normal sized kid... till around the 4th... and since then... there's been a steady growth along the x axis... I've always wished I was a little less prosperous, but you know what they say... if wishes were horses...

I completely let go after the 10th... school hours changed and with it came more sleeptime... right after lunch... so i grew... more rotund than ever... the only time I ever did anything to check the growing prosperity was just before I left to the States... a pilot can't afford to be chubby, so I started gymming... lost 7kgs and was extremely proud of it!

Well, what with McDonalds and Qdoba and Panda Express and Starbucks and ColdStone and a million other eateries that I soon began patronising... the weight that I'd fought off, started challenging me again... the school shutting down just about did it... had to cancel my membership at Inshape (funny... no one who came there was in shape... ironical...), the gym that I went to every now and then... (more "then" than "now"...) still things weren't so out of hand... till we started flying so much that the only time we had to eat was in between flights... ha ha... I bet you think they were hurried meals, a few nibbles... huh? oh! you're so so wrong... we ate in style... at a different airport cafe each day... you've to eat this food to realize what it can do to you... else, you can take the safer way out and see what it did to me... :D

The result is that I reached my highest ever... (thought I'd disclose the no., but what the heck... I've always wanted to say this - that's for me to know & for you to find out! :D

Do I regret being overweight? sure I do! Especially in the fitting rooms! But thankfully, I've never kidded myself about my weight issues, so I've not had people hurting my feelings on that account! If there's a crack about the waistline, you bet I'm the one making it! ;)

Here are a few rules a prosperous/healthy/not-so-slim/un-skinny person, such as I, lives by :
1. Emotional Eating : if something goes wrong... something has to go in...
2. Study Companions : if something has to get into my head, something else has to get into my mouth...
3. Polite Eating : if something tastes good, show your appreciation by eating some more... and some more... and then... some more...
4. Storing up : when unsure of when next, the next meal will be, leave nothing to chance, store up...
5. When you're really bored... and you have nothing else to do... EAT!!! :)

So the battle goes on... with rules like the above, there sure is treachery involved ;) wait a mintue! I think I'm going to wind up now... All this blogging has made me hungry!! Bon appetit! ;)

my experiences with aviation...

2008-11-22T11:35:00.000-08:00

i remember the day i the day i held the brochure in my hands... the brochure from Phoenix East Aviation... i dont know if uve had one,,, but there it was... my "calling"... i thought "wow! this is wat i want to be!"... the brochure had in it pictures... pictures of wat my future wud hold... smart uniforms,,, groovy cockpits,,, a glamorous lifestyle... that's how this fiasco started... based on fancies... based on whims...

nothing much came out of it immediately though... dad didnt think it was for me... even though it was he who had sowed the seed of aviation in my brain... nothing... till ASA advertised... and again... it was my dad who brought it to my notice... it involved a lot of work... psychometry, class II medicals, KFA interview, trips to chennai and mumbai, visa interviews, bank trips... a whole lot of preparation... but there i was... leaving on a jetplane... to america... leaving on a jetplane... to learn to fly one...

i didnt really have any visions of wat america wud be like... but nothing... just nothing in my wildest dreams wudve prepared me for Atwater... dry as a desert... hot as a furnace... as boring as a geography class... it was in short... hell on earth!!! words cant describe the barracks... the carpets probably had never been cleaned since theyd been put there... the washbasin was perenially clogged.... the study was converted into a kitchen... it looked like it was ready for the wrecking ball... and the people... ive lived all my life in coimbatore... my dad is a teetotaller... ive never seen ppl drink... drink till they lost their senses and made fools out of themselves... till i got to ASA... it did take some getting used to... every night was disco night... music blared on and on... but i did get used to it... things didnt seem so bad once that happened... i lived my life... they lived theirs...

i waited... waited for 15 days for the ground classes to start... and then 3 months to start flying... wen i did start flying,,, it was once every fortnight... there's nothing as depressing as waiting at a flight school... dont argue till uve tried it!!! and then finally,,, ron appeared on the scene... flying picked up after that... things were pretty fine... except for a few hiccoughs... happens everywhere... right??? but then... came the 15th of may... a surprise meeting... in which we were told school wud be shut for 2 weeks... 2 weeks stretched on to 6 weeks... the worst in my life... not knowing... hoping... but still worrying if the worst wud come to be... it did... first the county shut the power and water connections... and then we were evicted... evicted!!! for god's sake!!!

ive never shifted houses ever... never ever in my whole life... well... never is a long time... n so... i had my dues to pay... and pay... i most certainly did! we'd been in the barracks 10 months... id never thrown anything away... id hoarded every bill,,, every brochure,,, every bit of junk that had come into my possession... and i had 2 hours (yes! 2 whole hours!!!) to sift through all that junk and keep wat i needed and do away with all that i didnt... it was hard... there was no time for sentiments or emotions... i was hard pressed for time... from the barracks to the gemini barracks... from there to motel 6... motel 6 to the apartment in dublin... and a month from then to extended stay... then to the apartment in livermore... i lived out of suitcases... ate junk... drove around... all this when the guilt hung over my head... pretty heavy... $25,000 heavy...

finding the apartment had been an accomplishment in itself... there was a day i broke down,,, midway between our house-hunt... we'd approach someone... they would show us the place... we'd sit down for paperwork... and then be asked for credit history... cruel joke... believe me, you,,, dont ever come to the states on an M1 visa! its a cruel joke!!! we'd re-enacted this drama so many times that i eventually lost count... i guess God eventually thought he'd step in and help... ive no other explanation for it...

the 2 months that followed were good... we flew our brains out!!! airport to airport... we were living the dream... life was good!!! best part of my flying career... marine layers, ils-es, vors, clearances... i loved it all... we had our instrument ratings before long...

there are times u have to make decisions... once u make one, it can go two ways... if it takes off, the world is in love with you... if it fails, u have reproaches, i-told-u-so-s, and worse still guilt to contend with... well, to cut a long story short, we got the latter...

shifted again... i dont even remember where we went and wat we did... its all a blur... but we did it with the best intentions... but i guess good intentions are not all that count... after a lot of starting trouble,,, things did get rolling... im sure ur thinking... "uh oh! a positive note?? wonder wat went wrong this time!"... if that is wat ur thinking... go ahead and pat urself on the back... it just means uve been paying attention to this rather lengthy tale of woe!! well... to cut a long story short (wonder why i didnt think of it b4 now...), i happened to taxi a lil too close to the threshold lights... the propeller kinda objected to this act of mine... sigh... the result... we're back to waiting... the sense of guilt is 100 times more pronounced this time around... there's money involved... as always... and worse still,,, im responsible for so many others having to wait... it doesnt help knowing that it was a mistake that couldve happened to anybody... it did happen to me... and thats hard to live with...

every time something went wrong i consoled myself saying "this is as bad as it gets... cant get any worse..." and every time ive been proved wrong... if all this is a test of character,,, i dont really know if ive passed or failed... if its just bad luck,,, i can only hope it has run its course...

i dont know wat the future has in store for me... bad weather is a certainty,,, its already begun to rear its ugly head at us... aviation in india is in a slump... for wat period of time, only time can tell... everything looks bleak... im as close as can be to losing faith... if miracles still happen,,, i sure could use one now!!!

wat continues to be a consolation is the support i have... from my folks back home... after all this,,, they still believe in me... they still think things will turn around... i will feed off their hope,,, till im brave enough... to hope again...

between then and now...

2008-11-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

ok... its been a long time since i blogged... there have been many things ive felt strongly about... but havent blogged about... on one hand im depressed abt turning 23 tomorrow... and on the other im trying not to be... the highlight of my bday is going to be a 9 hour drive from norcal to socal... sigh... can i ask for anything better? :D anywayz... these are few of the things i should have blogged abt and didnt...

1. i love opera... ever since i heard andrew johnston...
2. i love clouds... they reaffirm the fact that the skies are where i belong...
3. friends can turn into foes... and all it takes is a few moments...
4. the best type of friends are the ones who've been around ever since you can remember...
5. spontaneity is not for me... i whine n fret too much later!
6. the past one year has been my best and my worst...

there are other things i almost blogged about and didnt... when my failing memory tracks them,,, i will put them down... here's to my 23rd... cheers!

random stuff

2008-05-30T14:18:00.000-07:00

waiting... the one thing i hate more than anything else! ironically that's all i get to do on a regular basis... wait... wait... wait... and then wait some more... its frustrating to say the least... i wonder what's worse... having too much to do and having no time... or having all the time in the world and nothing to do... right now, id say its the latter...

incompetency... that's another thing that gets me down... true, life wont run like clockwork... but time is ticking away... im getting older... and im wasting half my youth waiting... incompetency can be tolerated,,, once in a while,,, but when incompetency is all you find.... aaarrrggghhh...

destiny... that's something i believe in... one cannot escape destiny... no matter what... it is the law of life... but dont all laws have loopholes???

luck... this steadily eludes me... maybe i can do without it... i have... for 9 months now...

anger... my contant companion... anger at having to wait... anger at having to put up with incompetency... anger at what destiny has in store... anger at having no luck... anger... at just about everything...

doubt... as to what the future has in store...

prayer... the one thing that saves me... the one thing that keeps me going... the one thing that makes me believe i can beat all odds... Thank God for prayer!

..................

2008-05-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

have you ever been in a crowd and still felt u were all alone???
have you heard talk and laughter all around you and still felt there was silence???
have you longed to have someone to talk to while being halfway through a conversation???

i know this sounds crazy,,, but ive felt all these things and more... a sea of faces drowns you and you still feel you are all alone... people might be talking but it doesnt have any relevence... you are all alone... despite being in a crowd...

beats me...

2008-05-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

you know wat really beats me??? the constant need most humans feel,,, to analyse every action of their fellow humans,,, for some ulterior motive... to read between the lines... to figure out "what really he/she meant"... there's no such thing as taking things at their face value, anymore... atleast not in this part of the world where i live... every action is judged... every word weighed... a good person is never just a good person... he/she obviously has something to gain by being good... come on!!! its not too bad to trust... atleast trust a little...

it wud be easier to take things at their face value,,, instead of conducting post-mortems on every word n deed... why not give ppl a chance? why not believe wat they say n leave it at that? why is it so hard to appreciate another's good qualities??? why is there such a desperate need to criticise??? im not saying im impervious to this need... i judge too... n im aware that im judged in turn... it makes no difference to me though, if ppl consider facts wen judging... its wen fiction rules judgement, that i totally lose it!!!!

everybody wants to be loved... wats wrong with that??? "nothing", you say? yeah right! nothing is wrong as long as it is YOU who does the wanting... the moment someone else opts to do something that wud make him/her more loved,,, the whole fiasco begins... the same ole tiring exercise of talking, analysing, jumping to conclusions n then airing them as facts... ive seen it happen (and prolly done the same myself) a million times n im growing heartily sick of it! gossip keeps most ppl going... and im sick n tired of that too! i mean, cmon now! let things be! ppl have enough to handle,,, without having vicious tongues thrown in!!!!

the most prevalent misconception, most ppl suffer from, is that theyre closer to perfection than the rest of the human race... how wrong we are!!!! 1.analyse urself before u analyse another!!! makes more sense,,, is a better use of time,,, and is definitely more rewarding... 2.put urself in the other person's shoes... if it hurts u, it probably is hurting them too! 3.face it! there's more to life than gossip! amen! to that!

people...

2008-03-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

"i dont like people"... who says such things??? i do...

i was joking when i said it though... but it did get me thinking... ok,, i was joking as far as the "people" in that case were concerned... a nicer set of people i never have seen before... but hmmm... there are other "people" that i dont like... maybe im weird... i prefer my company to that of others at times... im not a people-person... i enjoy being alone... just me... and my music... just me... and my dog... just me... and my thoughts... just me... and my books... just me...

idle chatter tires me... at times... i hate making conversation just coz i have to... i think its pure torture having to spend time with someone just coz u have to... i hate it when i have to feign interest in something the other person wants to ramble on and on about... but wait... is it just me,,, or do other people think that way too??

people are different... or are they??? crazy analogies come to mind... people are like clothes... they come in different styles, colours and sizes... but theyre clothes all the same... they serve the same purpose (or dont!)... you like some clothes n you cant stand some... you keep wearing clothes you're comfortable in and wear certain others just when you have to make an impression... its the same with people... they come in different styles, colours and sizes... but theyre people all the same.. they serve the same purpose (or dont!)... you like some people n you cant stand some... you keep hanging around with some people that you're just so comfortable with and you hang around with few others when you have to make an impression... there! people are like clothes! :D

i was thinking today abt my ill-judged statement... "i dont like people"... if it didnt sound so negative id say i meant it... :D maybe i should rephrase it... "i love few people"... there! that didnt sound so bad, did it? and whats better,,, its absolutely true... there are a few people who make life worth living... :) as for the rest,,, their presence or the lack of it, makes no difference to me... i guess God put them on earth, coz there are other people who find them indispensible... hmm... just where is this post going??? ive no idea...

another thing i thought today was... "i prefer dogs to people"... chuckle... okie... i know that sounds crazy... but it is true... you can be who you are with a dog and it will be the same to you... it either likes you or doesnt like you and it doesnt bother hiding the fact either way... a lick / a bite... it decides and sticks to it... people, on the other hand are not so simple... they might like you for one thing and hate you for another... they might like what you have and hate you for having it... they might love you and not show it... they might hate you and not show it... oh heck! you people know what people are like!

and when i get all cynical n anti-people,,, i come across someone who makes me fall in love with humankind!!! happens all the time... believe me, you, there are selfless people,,, there are honest people,,, there are thoughtful people... there are people who wish well for you... there are people who truly love other people... like i said before,,, there are people who make life worth living... here's to people! cheers!

i believe i can fly!!!!

2008-03-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

"i believe i can fly".... its not just a song anymore... i can fly... and its an awesome feeling... its taken me close to 7 months to get to this point... way more than normal... but heck!!! who cares???? I'VE SOLOED!!!! sighhhh.... wat an awesome feeling... "on top of the world"... makes so much more sense to me now... i still envy the birds... but then again,,, im as close to doing wat they do as anyone ever will be... :D for anyone who choses to read on, i will elaborate...

the week before the solo: it had been 20 days since i had last flown... weather had played spoilsport for a while and then it was the maintainence issues... wen i finally got to fly, it was only to find out i had gone from good to really-bad... i seemed to have forgotten how to fly!!!! very depressing... emoted quite a bit... tears ran free... wondered why i ever thought of flying... wondered more if i wasnt good enough... (i hate that thought!)...

here's where my instructor comes in... asked me to stop-being-a-girl and adjust my attitude... Ron, the credit seriously goes to u!!! ur the best!!! well, ron felt there was one basic criteria i had to satisfy if i had to solo - i had to be able to land the plane... simple huh??? easier said than done... hour after hour of traffic patterns... radio calls... stabilized approaches... extending downwinds... and yes... how could i forget... touch n gos... each landing was an adventure on its own... i bounced... i ballooned... i did things which made me think id never ever be able to land... and i said so aloud... n got lectured for it... :D

the week progressed... but as far as i was concerned, i didnt... :D friday came... n the 17th touch n go in succession... for the first time ever,,, i did all of it... ron chose to remain quiet... well... to cut a long story short... it wasnt so bad... i was ready for my solo...

eve of the solo: it was my friend's bday... stayed up waiting for her to get back from her flight... didnt happen quick enough... had to sleep... was terribly sleep deprived... fell asleep,,, but i just couldnt sleep soundly... had only one thing in mind - had to come back alive! ;)

solo day: woke up in time... (not a big thing really.... sleep evaded me after dawn)... walked to school... preflight prep all done... walked to the plane for the preflight inspection... turned on the master... nothing happened... no fluctuating gauges... no noise from the gyro... no nothing...

this was so incredible it actually made me smile in disbelief... was it a sign from above??? well,,, apparently not... just some idiot leaving the master on all night... S-O-S called ron... we got another plane,,, i rushed back to preflight the new one (sprained my foot in the process)... also got to see some hand-propping... finally... we started taxiing... n guess wat,,, the airplane stopped on the taxiway... hah! wat did i do then? just wat my instructor asked me to do... start the plane again n carry on... :D well, throughout the taxiing i was briefed on wat i should do... each plane handles differently... n i did so want to solo on 733AD... well... certain things r not meant to be... so 9737V it was...

i did 3 touch n gos with ron... thats all he wanted... 3 reasonable landings n i was good to go... well... i must say... ron is a man of his words... we taxiied back... he jumped out... signed my solo endorsements n walked off... i was all alone... gleep!

the solo flight: words cant describe wat one feels during the fist ever solo flight... i can try though... its by far the most exciting thing ive done all my life... the winds that day were calm too... the airplane seemed to be having as much fun as i was... it was like i was out for a walk with my dog... i couldnt help telling myself "i love this",,, over n over again... it was beautiful... just too good... n better still,,, it was true...

the time came for my first solo landing... ive never concentrated so much on anything else ever in my life... to my joy n to a certain degree, surprise, it went off well... a pretty good landing i would say... ron's voice on the radio : "that was easy"... i was so thrilled, i giggled.... after that the frequency of "im loving this" increased... the second landing was a bit bouncy, but who cares... :D the third was pathetic... but still who cares??? i had accomplished something... i had proven to myself i could... I HAD SOLOED!!!

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-E-D

2007-12-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

to frustrate : to prevent, thwart, defeat, foil, balk, baffle, nullify, stymie, disappoint, discourage, disappoint, hinder, prevent..."to frustrate means to deprive of effect or render worthless an effort directed to some end"....

hmmm... no wonder it feels so bad to be frustrated! ur subjected to so many emotions! :D well, i know it doesnt require me to spell it out, (again), but im frustrated! as frustrated as could be! for the first time in my life im feeling helpless! never before now, was there no way out... never before now, was there no way of making things better by just working harder... never before now, were things so bad, never before now, did God desert me!

im sitting here, waiting for God knows wat, watching everything around me deteriorate... i came here to do something... and im doing everything but that... im waiting.... waiting only to be told that i have to wait some more... im hoping... hoping against hope that there is still some hope left... im praying... praying so hard for my prayers to be heard...

i sometimes feel im teetering on the edge of sanity... one step more n its "goombye sanity! hello insanity!"... its horrible to be frustrated... its not something i enjoy being... its not something i can escape either... n if i do... temporarily, that is, it always catches up... bigger than ever... more depressing than before... aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

thats it! im too frustrated to think! im leaving this post unfinished! frustration has taken its toll.... again!

203 C Street...

2007-12-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

203 C Street... the place i call home...
within these four walls (13 walls actually) my life unfolds...
i do more than just stay here... its not just another dorm...
the place has seen so many emotions,,, i bet it could emote too, before long...
i cry... i laugh... i smile...
i frown... i curse... i sigh...
i give up... i rekindle hope...
all here... in this one room...

the day i took my great leap,,, to america... the distant land...
203 C street was awaiting my arrival... a friend on unknown sands...
at first it was just a room,,, somewhere i could bed down for the night...
but little by little it grew on me,,, n now... its a part of my life...

if a schedule is cancelled... or if a friend acts up...
203 C street... is all i can think of...
it hides my tears,,, from the scorn of the world...n calms... n comforts...
it gives me all the space i need,,, till i realise i care no more...

it witnessed one of the best parties ever,,, the day i turned 22...
friends n acquaintances filled it up... and the room seemed to enjoy it too...

"walls have ears",,, people say... if true that ever were,,,
203 C street wud know a lot by now,,, of that im pretty sure!

and if this post seems pointless, u better think again...
the point is - life aint easy,,, in a land that is foreign...
its all very well to envy those,,, who tread the road not often taken...
but all ur envy is in vain... why, at times we feel God forsaken!!!!

"there! there!" says 203 C street, "life aint so bad"...
n i nod my head in agreement,,, it just wudnt do to get too sad...
good times and bad,,, u find them everywhere...
whether ur abroad or at home,,, ur cross,,, u have to bear...
theres no such thing as easy living...life's after all... a balance of giving and receiving...
why, before i personalised with attention,,,even 203 C street... was dull and foreboding!!!!

i'm so mad

2007-12-13T18:13:00.000-08:00

arrrgggghhhh... sometimes things just get you down! n so many things have been going wrong of late.... my schedules are few and far apart... i just cant stop worrying abt them! i'm yet to write my CATs...

n there's some girl thinking all she's trying to steal is candy... im so mad/shocked/unhappy abt that i cant say anymore... if i ever do, it will be a whole blog entry!

n the latest thing that got to me was google checkout! so annoying! i make my first ever purchase, i repeat, my first ever purchase, n the damn thing mails me telling me ive been creating multiple accounts so i get the $10 rebate thingy! arrrrggghhhh! im sooo mad! that was such a waste of time! seriously! google checkout,,, you wasted my time... a lot of it! aaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, atleast something's are off my mind... few other things... well... they will remain... until then... i remain... just soooo mad!

jealousy...

2007-12-10T21:41:00.000-08:00

jealousy... that's something we all feel... at some point in time or the other... there's so much of it to go around... but jealousy is one trait thats more harmful to the person harbouring it than the one it is aimed at... hmmm... jealousy can rip ur mind apart n tap dance on it!!! take u from the heights of happiness to the depths of despair... may the good lord protect us... from jealousy...

to friends... old n new....

2007-12-05T17:35:00.000-08:00

what would life be without people to talk to?
what would life be without people to confide in?
what would life be without people to laugh with?
what would life be without people to care for?
just what would life be without these people... these people we term "friends"?

i for one, was never the sort who would die for friendship... dont think i have had a character change now either... so what is it that urges me to write this post? well... i might not die for friendship,,, but friendship sure makes life worth living.... this post is just a lil reminder... to all my friends... old and new... as well as to myself... that i love them! thanks for being in my life...

to keerthi... for being the best sister ever and the first friend i ever had! love you lil one!
to hari and nivi... for being the best playmates and for having made summer holidays the best time of the year..
to shalini... for all the fun times!
to saradha akka n raj anna... for the best times i've had in the US of A...
to swaytha, eliza, sandhya, ruby, divya, vasudha, sweta, megna... for being there... ever since i can remember... love u all so much!!!
to all the josies... never known friends like u...
to pash... for making bvb feel like home..
to kiran... for being himself...
to naren... for not being the lecherous-old-pervert he mightve been... :D
to monika and powviya... my guardian angels!!! love u!
to vishal... my best friend for life...
to ruhi... for being my lil sister!!!

and to amma and appa... for believing in me...

to lassie.... for being the whackiest, laziest, cutest, most useless doggie ever!!!

i could go on n on... its a lovely feeling... whoever it was who said count your blessings..., sure knew what he was talking about... for all the people i left out... HUG!!! love you all...

happy diwali?

2007-11-09T00:24:00.000-08:00

sigh.... over the last few years, all i cud do on diwali was crib that it was no fun... n that diwalis back in the past were so much more fun... har de har har! one diwali away from home n things seems so much more different! no amma, no appa, no frenzied shopping, no paati, no thaatha, no lassie, no sweets, no i-wont-go-to-neighbours'-house-to-distribute-sweets, no nothing! damn! diwalis back home were so much more fun! simply coz everyone was at home! simply coz we cud turn in any direction and we'd have someone wish us a very-happy-diwali! sigh! okie, so ppl here are celebrating diwali too... but it just aint the same... it just aint the same...

so... wat do i do to combat a growing depression? i make carrot halwa! :D hmmm... that kinda made me feel i was celebrating diwali too... small consolation!

and getting depressed about not-doing-anything-for-diwali has overshadowed something much more important... "what?", u ask? well, today was my first flight! i spend close to 3 months waiting for this day and when it happens what do i say? "im missing krishna sweets and adyar ananda bhavan"... well, now strictly steering away from sweets, sweet stalls or anything closely related to food, let me try and descibe how it felt to fly... hmmm... ive been back-seating before, so i had an idea of how it would feel, but yup... being there, having the yoke in ur hand and the rudder pedals right under ur feet is something else! :D but hmm... my instructor did 99% of all that needed to be done anywayz, so i guess i cant really say i-flew-the-airplane! :D n i reaslied a depressing fact today... im short! :( well, having a sister who was way shorter than me always made me feel i was on the taller side... boy! i was sadly mistaken! cant believe i need to shop for cushions or something along those lines, so that i can see where im going! :( hoo boy! serious dent to my pride!

but looking at the bigger picture... this is wonderful... flight training i mean... its wonderful to talk planes, think planes and better still - fly planes! when i get past the initial hiccoughs and get the hang of it, i know i'll love it... and that... is something worth waiting/working for!

ps: my first radio call : "Castle Ground... Cessna 733 Alpha Delta... at ASA... request taxi to active... for left crosswind departure... with information Zulu... Castle Ground..." i told you... im loving it! :D

salvation....

2007-05-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

salvation... i've attained it... you might go "whoa! wait a second! dont you have to die first?" well... if you've been through four years of engineering, spending a major portion of those four years wondering what the heck you were doing there, then the feeling you get, once you dash off the last line, on your last ever semester paper, comes pretty close to matching the dictionary meaning of salvation...

so as i was saying,,, i've attained salvation... and its an awesome feeling... being an engineer counts for something... to have come off, unscathed, feels even better... by unscathed i mean, no arrears ever, even in the most threatening, fuzzy papers... come to think of it, going to college everyday, realising that going to college is not in the least what people said it would be is pretty tasking... in fact, managing to stay in full possession of your sanity in the end can be termed commendable... you cant accuse me of vanity... if you do, id like to have you try it before you refute my stand on the matter...

there have been times i've doubted if i was doing the right thing.... times i've wished id never stepped into the place... times when i felt a degree in literature would have been more "my thing"... such times were hard to live through... but now... at the end of it... im proud of myself!!! engineering was worth it... it helps you grow... in more ways than one... i've recognised my potential and realised my limits... learnt that despair is almost always followed by hope (ask people who've had arrears and cleared them in the reval ;))... realised that sucking-up is not such a bad thing after all... ;) and most importantly, not to trust too much, or too little... add to all that, a lil bit of machines and a lil bit of electronics and there you have it - a formula for wholesome education!!

my thoughts take crazy turns as i think of what to put down... i started drafting this entry thinking i'll-write-it-as-i-see-it, but that is another thing engineering taught me not to do... i've learnt the hard way, that people more often than not, prefer hypocrisy to frankness, no matter how hard they try convincing you that it is otherwise... im worldly-wise now :D so i've decided to quit while im ahead... my draft seems depressing... but i guess, that according to the engineering formula, augurs a cheerful post next time! :D

star struck??!

2007-04-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

Just what is it with people and celebrities?? I ask this, coz most people on orkut have a celeb's pic for their display image... And most of 'em fancy Ash... I've received about a zillion friend requests from Ash... Crazy! Now... Why would anyone want to put up her pic?? You cant look like her... And even if you could, I should think you wouldn't want to... if everyone looked like her, she'd stop being called the "most beautiful woman"... ok... I guess a reasonable reason would be "anonymity"... But nope... That theory wont hold water... Most people choose not to be anonymous on orkut... Heck! You wont scrap about every itsy bitsy detail of your life, if u choose to remain anonymous... So what else cud it be? Beats me... And now, I'm wondering... Now that Ash is married, will people pick someone else?? How about themselves, for a change??? Now THAT.... will be a sight for sore eyes!

to paati...

2007-02-27T10:38:00.000-08:00

~DEATH~ the very mention of the word saddens me... coz it forcefully brings to mind the fact that my paati is no more... feb 23rd... thats when God decided to take her back... healthy, strong, independent and brave... thats wat my paati was... till death took its toll... i could barely recognise her as she lay there... dead... cruel!

wat is left behind, as far as im concerned is a feeling of deep regret... accompanied by a sense of guilt... i was so absorbed in my routine, that i barely spoke to my paati during her last few days... she didnt look her 81 yrs... i didnt know she'll be gone so soon... i didnt realise id miss her so... i didnt include time for her in my routine... there is so much i didnt do... and now its too late... God! i hate those words... "too late".... too late to hug her... too late to tell her i love her so... too late to cook for her... come to think of it, she never knew i could cook... too late to talk to her and ask her wat sort of a person she was when she was my age... too late... too late for anything... its a sickening feeling... realising that...

for all the times i walked past her, nose buried in a book.... for all the times i sat there listlessly changing channels as she sat there, probably wanting to tell me something... for all the hugs we never shared... for all the conversations we might have had... for all the words left unspoken... im sorry paati...

now it hits me... how we take ppl for granted... grow so accustomed to seeing them around, that we accord them as much attention as we do to furniture... oh! if i cud but turn bak time... if i could but snatch a few minutes with her... to tell her... that i love her...

paati has succeeded in teaching me a lesson... one that i'll not forget in a hurry... a lesson conveyed to me by her demise... without her so much as saying a word... if u love someone, tell them so.... if u care, show it... if u have a kind word, say it... dont set it by for the morrow... for wat tomorrow brings, tomorrow alone knows...

words left unspoken can taunt... wat i failed to say in person, im endeavouring to say in prayer... hoping paati is listening... "paati, i love you"....

heaven...

2007-01-11T05:02:00.000-08:00

ever switched off the lights, turned on some dreamy music and just let the chords take over your senses? if you have, then doubtless youve experienced heaven... wat joy it is to forget yourself, totally block all your thoughts and just let the music take you over... bliss... this is pure bliss... the slower the music, the more beautiful the lyrics, better is the experience of heaven... sometimes, the instruments suffice... they speak to you... theres no need for lyrics... wat emotions music invokes...

the stresses of the day, the grievances, the misunderstandings, misconceptions... in short everything unpleasant, doesnt seem to matter anymore... when music speaks to you... you just lie back and let the music massage ur mind... oh! what a rejuvenating feeling... when music speaks to you... when music well and truly speaks to you...

as i type this entry, im listening to nadia, a song that a friend of mine sent me a lil while back, and as i listen, this song sorta grows on me... beautiful... wat a beautiful feeling... yethanai kodi by bombay jayashri (atma) has a similar effect on me... one could go on and on listening... on and on and on... after all, does it hurt to be in heaven???

and then... the cat got me...

2007-01-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

hello all... im passing through what has been one of the worst phases of my life... where nothing seems to be going right... all luck has deserted me... and Gods dont seem to be listening either... but i should have seen this phase coming... i shouldve been better prepared... from the day the b-school bug bit me...

i simply have to write about my b-school experiences... probably that will help get the sick feeling off my system... well let me start at the beginning... i was a happy (nope, not happy, my college has rules against ppl being happy in it)... so let me begin again... i was an ordinary engineering student, one of the million such ppl, in a slightly above average engg coll... having no aspirations greater than clearing all my papers in the first shot... that was as close to happiness i could get... i shouldve stayed put! then i happened to have a nice, long conversation with my cousin... who has all the brains that God allotted to my family, stashed away in his head... thats quite greedy, u must agree! ;) anywayz, this cousin of mine is someone i look up to and he at the time was in xlri... so we got around to talking wat i was planning on doing once i finished engineering... i had only abt then gotten over my tryst with the iits... (which is another pathetic joke, altogether)... at the end of the conversation, anywayz, he had just about convinced me that getting an mba is the way to go... and he told me, that if i didnt manage to land a b-school, it still wouldnt matter, coz i'd have atleast been a part of one of the biggest processes in indian education - the CAT... hey hari! im not quoting ur exact words, coz 1. i dont remember ;) 2. this is wat it conveyed to me anywayz! n for those of u who rnt hari, let me explain, hari is my cousin... the guy who is greedy over the brains... ;)

well, after that conversation, the mba aspiration was sown in my mind... it wasnt long before i joined TIME... and personally i think they do a pretty good job... but i guess i was too much an "engineering student" to actually go bak home and work on my own... not when there wasnt an exam the next day! so life went on... every sunday was eat-pastries-n-puffs day... alias cat class day... i had classes on saturday too, but i was usually zoned out due to being in college the whole day anyways, so no point mentioning that...

and then time flew (it always does) and the mock-cats started... this was like a roller coaster ride... sometimes things went well enough and i was pleased with my performance and then the very next week there would be a dip in performance... so many ups n downs... the wretched, desperate feeling started then... i will title it the WDF... coz its a major factor in my life now... :P

to be honest, i put in only abt 10 days of work (note, i still dont say "hard" work)... not my fault, i wud have gotten around to working hard, but CAT didnt wanna wait... anywayz, the 2 n 1/2 hrs of cat was probably the shortest 2 n 1/2 hrs ever... my speed was slower than usual and i guess tortoises wud have seemed like horses compared to me... :( i came out with the WDF increased a hundred-fold... i had just managed to mess up CAT... a simple, easy, ridiculously lucrative paper...

the month that followed was a horrible one... anna univ exams came up... and coupled to it was the i-messed-up-cat feeling... sick! to say the least! anywayz, immediately after this came snap... messed that up as well... and had a hangover for abt a week after it... to cut a long story short, xat didnt work wonders for me either... :( and one thing i cant stand abt the whole rigmarole is that cat and snap were EASY..... sigh! i guess some things are never meant to be... poor poor me...

but im glad its all done and over with... i dont wanna think id have been better off not trying... this process has been a reality check... hari was right... the b-school process is a good teacher by itself... guess some lessons are meant to be learnt the hard way... to conclude, i gave this a shot, it didnt work, im none the worse for it... as for the WDF, i guess it'll wear off....

Scenes from a bus....

2006-08-15T23:31:00.000-07:00

well... i, for one, hate travelling by bus... crowded ones that is... dont particularly mind travelling by bus if i get to choose my seat,,, my favourite being the one right next to the exit... thats coz there have been a coupla times the bus got so crowded (after being empty initially), that i had to walk to my stop after alighting a coupla stops after it... :( so yup... i dont generally travel by bus if i can help it...

however a bus journey invariably triggers various lines of thought... most of them incredibly vivid... i sit there, looking to all intents n purposes as if i aint part of anything thats happening around me, but yup, i know, i appear that way coz i kinda conjure visions of the lives that my co-passengers lead... weird??? cant help that either... i once saw this lady get into the bus, pretty unsteady on her feet as she was cradling an infant in one arm n was holding on to a railing for her dear life, with the other... a brief glance made me think she had cried not before long... a vision came to mind of a squabble with her b'i'tter half,,, with the guy prolly emerging victor... i was prolly wrong in my conceptions,,, but then,,, ive heard enough and more tales of woe of the sad married lives that many women lead... if u dont believe my statement, take time off to talk to ur mom's hired help... their stories are extremely poignant...

another sight that brings sad thoughts to my mind, is that of old people struggling to get into the bus... wrinkled skin, greying hair n a body that is almost doubled up... we might think these are synonymous with a peaceful life of retirement... but nay! these old people are still bearing burdens, far too heavy for their old shoulders... prolly its coz their children dont care for them anymore or simply that they still care too much for their children,,, but its pretty obvious, these old ppl are still pushing themselves beyond their limits to earn wat they can... sad...

and then there are the perverts... the curse of travelling by bus! i loathe this particular species, so i aint wasting time talking abt them... but this much is true,,, every crowded bus is filled with more than its share of lecherous perverts! (the conductor usually being the leader of this particular species)

and then... the bus halts... i look outside... once, there was this toy-vendor... n every person who walked past him had a moment to spare, to glance at his bright wares... old or young, it didnt make a difference,,, ppl just had to look at the toys... that made me smile... we prolly dont think abt it all that often,,, but however old a person gets, no matter how busy he is,,, there is a part of him that remains a child...

and then, there is yours truly... one thing leads to another n i start speculating on myself... every bus journey rakes up some soul-searching... i think back on the events of the day n the ones preceding it... i weigh my actions n make some decisions... all this is done while ppl push past me, trod heavily on each others feet n heartily curse one another,,, amidst the myriad sights n sounds that only a bus can offer....

the above are as experienced by me while travelling by TNSTC - cbe

krrish = headache

2006-07-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

where do i begin ????
to tell the story of how dumb a movie can be........
the sickly sweet story that we are unfortunate to see....
the simple truth abt wat suckers movie goers can be...
where do i start????

hmm... try singing that like the "love story" ost,,, im hoping u'll find it catchy... :P who am i kidding? that was DUH! to say the least... okie dokie... thats neither here nor there... only,,, i was thinking how best to go abt writing a review for "krrish" and all that came to my mind was this one sentence : "where do i begin???" that led to the ridiculous italicised words right at the beginning of this post... i humbly apologise for testing ur patience! :P

hmmm... krrish... krrish... its been quite sometime since i saw that movie... not that, that matters... i didnt remember anything right after i left the theatre either... which just goes to prove there wasnt anything worth remembering... :P okie dokie... will try to refrain from going off on tangents n will stick to outlining the story, adding candid comments on the way (i cant help it, even if i were to try...) so yeah, the story begins with this chubby boy (cant believe they wanted us to believe that chubby creature wud turn into hritik! talk abt fat turning into muscle!), with an exceptional iq... this chubby creature,,, okie i'll cut the suspense... he's krishna... mrs.mehra's (rekha's) grandson... the princie of the school that Krishna goes to, wants to get an iq test done... as the test progresses, the faculty are spellbound by the answers the lil (no... not really lil) boy gives... rekha stands listening too... n then she rushes in n carries the child away... turns out, she doesnt want her grandson coming to a sticky end, coz of his powers, like his father (sr hritik) did... (preity prolly had date probs, coz all we see of her is the photo on the wall with a garland n one measly scene later on...) now both preity n sr. hritik are dead... thats wat we infer from the photos on the wall with the garlands hung on it... so rekha panics and takes her grandson kahin door....

now.... in kahin door, the other kids of krishna's age find him pretty much a freak,,, they come to this happy conclusion based on the weird stuff krishna does... like kicking a football right into nowhere, n demolishing a boulder simply by flinging a stone at it n stuff... so yup... no one wants to play with him... result : krishna befriends the animals n the birds... like a typical tamil/hindi movie of old,,, the guy runs n as he runs, he grows... n thats when we get to see the rippling muscles.... oooh! nice, but kinda unreal... ;) anywayz, the guy is a young hunk now... enter priyanka chopra... shes called priya in the movie... krishna is out one day in the woods, when he sees a hang-glider crash... he leaps, jumps, bounds n then climbs up a tree n helps priya's descent to earth become a memorable one... ive to add here, that the things priyanka did in these scenes, all in the name of acting, really truly annoyed me... aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

turns out priya is on a camping trip... she befriends krishna... how exactly??? well u have to watch the movie for that... it aint substantial enuff for me to describe here, n i dont particularly want to tax my brain, thinking of stuff that i didnt permit to enter in the first place... anywayz, after the ur-safe-in-my-arms bit (the rescue! ppl!), it was but natural anywayz... okie so there is a song, some lovely locales are shown to us... n then.... its time for priyanka to leave to s'pore where she works as a reporter....

now, this is where the story (or the lack of it) starts... as our dear ole priyanka has stayed away from work for too long, she earns her boss' wrath... her friend (dont know this females name, but she played the anoying "pari" in jassi jaisi...), anywayz, this friend brainwashes priya into thinking that krishna will help them get out of the mess (the one with the boss, i mean)... how? u ask? well... by videoing his superman stunts, they'll help the ratings of their tv channel hit the stratosphere.. anywayz... to get the guy to s'pore, priya lies that she loves him.. the guy quarrels with his daadi n makes it eventually,,, but yup,with his daadi's words ringing in his ears... "keep ur identity concealed...".... anywayz, he befriends this acrobat guy in s'pore... n the guy invites him over to the circus where he works... anywayz, to cut an exceptionally long n boring story short, the circus tent catches fire n THIS is the birth of KRRISH! krishna puts on a mask to keep his identity concealed n saves ppl from the inferno...

anywayz... theres this security chief (or some such thing) who gets in touch with krishna n unleashes a flashback... the pointless story begins to show some effort to get somewhere... it so happens krishna's dad ie rohit... with his exceptional talents is sent for by nasarudeen shah (some big shot guy in s'pore... think he owns some think-tank or something...)... now shah wants rohit to develop a computer which can see the future... for wat he explains are good reasons... rohit succeeds too... n when rohit is showing the security chief (or some such thing ;)) how the "bhavishya ko dekne wala computer" works, the comp shows them that shah finishes rohit off by shooting him... rohit is highly upset at this particular bit of info (who wudnt be? uve got to excuse the guy).... n wat angers him most is that shah plans on using the BKDWC (bhavishya ko dekne wala computer) for wrong reasons... in short "world domination" (just like every other baddie in all other super-hero stories do)... so he smashes up the comp... :P now the thing we have to note here is that the password to operate the comp are rohits heart beat (again, or-some-such-thing) n a scan of his retina (or some such thing :P)... so when shah is abt to finish him off for real, the security chief, gets rohit a lease on life, by informing shah abt this... so rohit is spared his life, but is kept in a bizzare (read hilarious) vegetable state, where only his brain functions, but all else doesnt...

meanwhile, shah gets another panel of experts to duplicate the BKDWC n they succeed after 20 long yrs, using rohits notes (yet again, or some such thing)... :P so shah logs on too into the future n sees his being killed by the masked man... now... krrish, not wanting his identity to be disclosed had earlier on persuaded his acrobat friend to identify himself as the masked man... now... shah finishes him (the acrobat) off n considers himself safe... but nah! he's wrong... krrish, priya n the SC (sec chief) land on shah's island (note how islands are always found to be salubrious by baddies...)... to cut a long story short, krrish with his amazing powers saves the day n the evil dr.someone or the other, or shah as i know him, is dead.... the father, son n dotter in law go bak to india n rekha is as happy as can be... the movie ends with jadoo being contacted again n the family saying a brief "thankyou"....

now... heres wat i have to add abt the movie:

1. apart from a few scenes, there isnt really anything to gape open mouthed at... (except ofcourse at the stupidity in certain scenes)
2. last i saw, jadoo had given rohit his powers back, so how come he still behaves like a loony? (hritik prolly aiming at awards for good acting...)
3. have to admit, i thought hritik looked awesome with that mask on... (n without, in a few scenes)...
4. there was this "just imagine" character, whom i felt was better left out of my entry...
5. i heard the movie is a big hit... ppl who think it was awesome are prolly demented or not-more-than-10-yrs-old, so please refrain from posting comments against my entry... if beyond this u do, then its obvious one of the 2 above reasons is true....
6. hritik still dances like a dream...
7. God! there shudnt be a sequel!

"Unity in Diversity"???? That's What They Say...

2006-05-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

"unity in diversity".... thats been india's catch phrase; her trump card over the rest of the world... thats one phrase we've all used at some point in time or the other.... in our essays; in skits; in speeches... yes... indeed its something to be proud about.... if only, it were true...

im going to try n keep this post as neutral as possible... i aint going to be mud-flinging any particular sect or any particular state... true, we are all to blame... probably even im prejudiced... i hope to all goodness i never let it over-rule my better judgement though...

wat triggered this entry was a recent visit to bangalore... the train journey was all i could have hoped it to be... the train was doing great time, n the company was as wonderful as it gets... cuz , aunt, mom n sis... n as ive always thought bangalore was a fun place to go to, i was pretty much excited about the trip... come station-pre-paid auto stand... now this is where the trouble began... our auto-driver happened to be a fanatic... (to say the least)... he said something in hindi, to which i responded in hindi (thanking my stars that id had hindi as my 2nd lang all my life)... anywayz, i had gauged the guy all wrong... its so happens this guy suffers from i-can-talk-any-lang-but-u-shud-talk-only-in-kannada-itis... he went all crazy n started asking me to speak in kannada... if i cud, i wud! but i know one word in kannada n that happens to be "neeru", coz my friend used to keep saying my name meant "water" in her lang! (so yup, if im dying of thirst, id know how to survive... but uh huh.... cant say i know anything else)... well... getting back to the auto guy... he then said something in english (well dear dear english! the lang i love!)... replied in english... guy went berserk again... and started indicating symptoms of ICTALBYSTOIK-itis again.... bugging! to say the least... n then he scoffed at us for not knowing where our hotel was situated! hah! wud i be at his mercy if i knew??? if i only knew.... man! as if this wasnt enuff... he started the talk-in-kannada bit again n i remarked in tamil that i didnt know the lang... hah! this is where the audacious guy said (in english, tamil n kannada combined) : "y did u come here then if u didnt know kannada??? i dont know tamil, so i dont come to tn... so y have u come here..." sigh... cud i have asked for a more endearing welcome speech??? no, my dear blog readers, i think not... i went "where the hell am i??? who is this guy anywayz???"

that sadly is just a small example of how prejudiced n fanatic ppl can get... im not going into the probable reasons for the auto-guys behaviour... for God's sake we live in the same country! india is one country, isnt she? it seems to me that that particular fact is over-shadowed by the presence of language based states... if this is the sort of prejudice an indian feels,,, sigh... i can say no more... draw ur own conclusions... take Indian Idol for example... i was rooting for Karunya... he was clearly the better singer... (okie he was from the south... does that matter anymore? im from TN, i wasnt too welcome at bangalore was i? simply coz it was a southern state too? hah!)... but then wat happened??? karunya didnt win... obvious reason - he's a southie... c'mon ppl! are we going to get anywhere at all with this kinda attitude... i agree its not too wrong to be prejudiced... but couldnt we have sane limits to it??? like i said, im probably prejudiced too (no point being hypocritical abt it)... i am part of the "south indians" community on orkut... but it stops there... id never turn away a person; or refuse to talk to him; or belittle him simply coz he wasnt a state-mate or he couldnt converse in my lang... ppl talk so much abt caste... regionality seems to matter too these days... i guess wat ive seen is only a part of the bigger picture... i guess the worst is yet to come... when im denied a promotion; or when my potential isnt recognised... oh i could go on... this is scary! does india stand a chance in the global scene? im afraid, it doesnt... sad... but its true... until n unless the scenario changes... God help us!

TAG! ur it!

2006-02-15T04:53:00.000-08:00

hmm.... i was told id been tagged... and i was like "huh... so?"... i admit, the phrase did bring vivid images of children running about, the "catcher" reaching out to touch some other kid, n yelling "tag! ur it!" n the "caught" then in turn became the successive catcher... it aint too different here either, i guess... turns out being tagged, by someone who has been tagged already, involves writing out a blog describing wat one is looking for in a guy/gal... as in now, ive just got to describe my perfect guy :D that aint so hard now, is it??? well lemme see.... the mood is set... listening to tu bin bataye.... and if that doesnt put me in the dreamy mood, then id say all hope is lost n im resigned to a fate of spinsterhood :P anywayz, valentines day just came n went, with absolutely no change in the "im single" status... :( sad... V day always is, as far as im concerned, an ordinary (even more ordinary than the other days) day... it just comes n goes... ;)

okie dokie... now moving onto wat id love to find in a guy.... (wondering if itd be easier to say wat i wudnt like in a guy... hmm...)

1. should have a gr8 sense of humour... should be able to keep me laughing 24x7... n yup... that doesnt translate to narrating surd jokes, or blonde jokes or who's there jokes.... i like spontaneous wit and i just love it when the guy makes even ordinary, mundane things seem funny... yup... witty n humourous... first attributes id look for...

2. hmm... the guy shouldnt take me too seriously... now wait! dont misinterpret that! thing is i have the tendency to fly off the handle for exceptionally silly things at times, in short, im kinda moody ;)... now when im being sullen n out of sorts for no reason at all, the guy shud bear it grinning and yeah not take me seriously, as in he should kid around n cheer me up instead...

3. id love a guy who could serenade me... :D n nope, even though itd be awesome if the guy was singer material, i dont mind a guy who cant sing for nuts, but who would do it all the same for me... i think thats really cute... guys who sing even though they cant, simply coz they love their girls sooo much... :)

4. id love a nice smiley faced guy... someone with that perfect "close-up" smile.... necessarily it shouldnt be a stupid blank smile (as in the ad, the guy has nothing to smile abt but the money hes making for looking like the happy-dent cow); a smile that reached his eyes, if u know wat i mean... a nice, warm, genuine smile...

5. should be an avid reader... ( nope, i dont mean newspapers n magazines... ;) )

6. should love to travel... to explore new places... n when on a trip, should exhibit gr8 enthusiam for checking out even the most quaint parts of the place, n shouldnt be content with staying at the hotel room, flipping through tv channels listlessly...

7. should love dogs n shouldnt mind having a coupla them at home... n yeah letting them have access to the whole house... as in there should be no part of the house that is out of bounds for our canine companions... :)

8. should be smart looking ... we cant all hope for john abrahams, so i'll be mighty content with a smart, looking guy, definitely on the taller side... id love it if the guy had differently coloured eyes... okie im not asking for blue or grey or green coloured eyes... but even brown wud be a welcome change... anything but black coloured eyes :P and yup, i hate guys with any signs of facial hair... no meesai, no dhaadi please!

9. im not exactly looking for IIT material, but the guy shouldnt be the dumb kind who struggled to get his degree... certain amount of academic brilliance will be expected... (God that sounds like an ad in the "opportunities" column... ;) )

10. last, n most definitely not the least, should love me with all of himself... should be able to give me my space... should be romantic but not in the cliched way... i mean i do like roses, candle-light dinners n stuff, but it shouldnt be just that... would love someone like jessie in full house... creatively romantic... :D

hmm... i guess it was supposed to be just 8 points... but yup... cudnt curtail it... just read through the post for typos, n i must admit, it sounds like im expecting wayyyy too much... anywayz, it never did hurt to fantasise before, so why should it now??? ;)

and umm... i dont really know 8 ppl who i can tag in turn... so yup, i guess i will tag the only person i do know on blogspot who hasnt been tagged already : Naren :) (hey foxie this should be a piece of cake for u! )

Tamil Movie Algorithm :D

2006-02-13T05:17:00.000-08:00

heya ppl.... i never ever intended to post a fwd of all things on my blog, but this one never fails to crack me up, no matter how many times i read it... and as most hindi movies of old, were either copied into or copied from tamil movies, this holds true for hindi movies too... it was sent to me by my cuz abt a yr back, n i guess u ppl have read it b4 too, but all the same, here goes....

Algorithm for A Tamil Movie:

1) "Only a girl will know the mind of another girl" (this dialogue can be delivered even by a 70 year old 'girl').

2) The father of the hero of an action movie will be dead. If he is not dead, then he is the villain. But the hero will come to know of this relationship only in the climax (and the father will turn over a new leaf).

3) It's always the mother of the hero who falls ill forcing the hero to steal to pay for the medicine.

4) The villain's wife never approves of his activities.

5) The hero and heroine can never tell from where a song is coming...They go on looking the wrong way till the song ends.

6) The villain's jeep can never catch up with the hero running zigzag, wounded in the leg and carrying a child.

7) Smugglers invariably keep a diary. Though they have been in the business for ages, their diary never runs into several volumes, it's always a single leather-bound pocket size booklet.

8) When the market-scene has come, can the fight be far behind ?

9) During car chases, the cars knock down so many push carts laden with vegetables, newspaper stalls, piles of empty cartons, etc. without any casualty. And when the cars go over a bridge, one of the cars is bound to fall from the bridge. (The hero can get the lorry he is driving leap into the air just by pulling the steering wheel up)

10) If the hero is a police officer, the constable who accompanies him is always a comedian.

11) The heroine, who has been a congenital shrew (bajaari), will turn into the 'epitome' of Tamil (Telugu etc) culture the moment she catches a glimpse of the hero.

12) All romantic films, one of the following is true: The families of the hero and heroine have a generations long feud. One of them is rich and the other is poor. They are from different castes/religion.

13) When the hero accidentally knocks down someone or pulls the knife out of a dead man, he is promptly arrested, convicted and sent to prison. But in the climax he mows down hundreds of the villain's henchmen and walks free.

14) The entire police department (if hero is a not a policeman) or the entire police department minus the hero (if hero is a policeman) is corrupt (the comedian-constable is the exception).

15) Policewomen always wear figure 'hugging' uniforms.

16) When the villain attempts to molest the heroine, the hero is always within the earshot and promptly apprears in the scene but waits till the heroine's dress is completely torn and till the villain is just going to make it. This is not true when an attempt is made on the modesty of the hero's sister (see 17. below).

17) About the hero's sister, one of the following is true : She is handicappedShe gets raped and/or killed by the villain / villain's son.

18) The bomb the villain places at the feet of his (tied up) victims has a 500 metre long (or longer) fuse. The time would have been set for 60 seconds but it would still be showing 58,57... even after 15 minutes.When the hero at last arrives and throws the bomb away (which always happens when there is just 1 sec remaining), the bomb always lands in a no-mans-land.

19) When the hero is a college student, all his friends are comedians (looking considerably older than the hero himself). None of them (including the hero) has any academic ambitions.

20) When orphanned brothers go citywards, they never make it to their destination together.And always one (or both) of them falls into bad ways. What reunites them at the end may be just anything : a mango mole in the small of the back, the distinct way they scratch the head or dig the nose, the lullaby their mother used to sing, the lockets they manage not to lose over the years or anything as silly.

21) The villain's sidekicks wear 'bizarre' uniforms and ride the same model motorcycles when chasing the hero's car. One by one, all of them are nudged out of the road by the hero. The more intelligent sidekick who avoids the flank of the hero's car and remains behind it crashes into the rear of the car when the hero 'intelligently' applies the brake.

Of Daffodils n Nostalgia...

2006-02-11T08:16:00.000-08:00

"For oft when on my couch i lie,
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye,
Which is the bliss of solitude....."
These are probably the only few lines of poetry ive remembered over the years, inspite of being made to commit a considerable bit of it to memory.... for reasons i cant explain, these words always had some effect on me... im not a person given in to too much of reminiscing... but there are times that ur mind does get into the flashback mode... :D
Sometimes, thinking back aint such a good idea after all... thoughts are strung together... the good thoughts inevitably instrumental in invoking a few bad ones... depressing thought, that... i think sometimes, God in his infinite wisdom, granted man the gift of forgetting... if not for that, we would not be able to be polite to people who hurt us in the past ; to "let time heal" ; to look forward to new beginnings, leaving behind the unhappy endings ; to let bygones be bygones.... truly, a bad memory is a blessing in disguise! ;)
But thinking back, is not always a self-assigned task... just as the daffodils chose to flash upon Wordsworth's inward eye, there are images of the past that choose to make an appearance on our mind's screen, when we least expect them to... sometimes yes, they help u smile; offer a moment's comfort in an uneasy situation; help u tide over difficulties... so yes, it has its plus-points too... all said and done, wat is life without memories???

Losing Individuality :D

2006-02-05T02:23:00.000-08:00

there's been this new line of thought that ive been pursuing of late... on how efficiently im going about losing my originality... hmm... to make this statement sound more sensible, i'll have to elaborate... ppl who know me well, are quite aware of the fact that i like immitating ppl... watch out for those distinct expressions, for those droll actions, for those slip-ups in the accent... n then yeah have a nice time later, enacting them out n giggling over it... all very nice n funny... but then now that i come to think of it, i think probably all that begins to work on a person's individuality... i guess ive incorporated a lot of alien mannerisms... so much so, i dont myself know what the real me is like... scary thought... if i keep this up, i'll probably be a whole new person few yrs down the line... gleep! n quite a funny one at that... man! i'll be a freak! SCREAM!

penance n repentance

2006-02-03T04:29:00.000-08:00

i had promised in my last blog (if i remember right) to post a review on thavamai thavam irundhu... the reason why i didnt do it earlier is that the movie spans over a good three hours n writing a review for bluffmaster was plainly an easier task... now lemme see, if i remember anything at all about the movie...
the thing i remember vividly about it is that the protagonist (i mean raj kiran here, not mr.whatshisname), is shown pedalling something all through the movie... first the press n then his cycle, the cycle again... n again n then the press after that... after all that show of pedalling, my mind refused to register anything else i guess... anywayz, let me begin at the beginning... this movie is about this hard working dad who dotes on his sons... he has a couple of them... the younger one being cheran... (who told him he could act????) anywayz... the dad owns a printing press... slogs day in n day out to send his sons to a good school, buy them clothes, books n things n in general keep them as content as he can... this i think is a summary of the first one or one n a half hours... ;) as i mentioned b4, theres a lot of pedalling going on... now, the first son does his diploma, gets his dad to pay for a job n as he proves to be a village-casanova (har de har har), his dad gets him married... n yup, the dad guy keeps borrowing money n stuff... permanently-under-the-tension-of-debts kinda thing... u get my point, dont u? so yeah, the elder son n his wife rnt too happy about living in the same house as their parents n so they move out.... ofcourse causing the old couple a gr8 amount of distress... the younger son, does his engineering (heaven help me)... comes across this girl in college with whom he (inevitably) falls in love... now abt the girl he falls in love with... she is seen explaining a math prob orally (excuse me while i snicker!), in english (heaven help her! u know wat happens to u if u speak in english in an engineering coll!!!! right! u get boycotted! or girl-cotted as the case maybe ;))... anywayz, all this just adds to the attraction the hero feels for her... to cut the long story short, the two become a couple... n during one umm... "study session", they get physical n yeah ofcourse the girl gets pregnant... now for some unfathomable reason, the girl n the guy run away to chennai... i mean, it wud have been so much simpler to get their parents' consent n tie the knot... but no,,, they run away n there he weds her by the simple process of tying a manja kayir... (if only it worked that way in real life)... anywayz, the hero is forced to take up menial jobs to make sure they get enuff to eat... i think there was a song somewhere at this juncture (cant really be sure) n the hardships they face seem worse when there's a sad song playing in the bg... (guess thats how it was intended to be... i mean, when the guy cant act, u make it seem like he can... ) the girl soon gives birth to a baby n the hero who is so financially down that he cant pay the hospital bills, calls up a friend back in the same village he hails from... he comes back from work n wonder of wonders (or prolly it was shock of shocks ;)) finds his dad squatted on the floor in his single room "house"... anywayz, the dad with his usual (and exceptionally annoying) generosity gives the son some money to help take care of the mom n new-born, n leaves... the couple then decide that they will be better off in their village n go back... the mother-in-law initially has some issues, with this particular decision of theirs, but then yeah, in true tamil cinema style, these issues are soon resolved, by a simple act of placing the wailing child in her grandmom's hands... the m-i-l then melts down n they soon settle down together and are one big happy family... wat happens after this is the movie's saving grace... by now anywayz, the audience is prolly half asleep n only just waiting for the whole crap to come to an end... anywayz... the hero soon lands a good job, makes a tidy bit of money, climbs up the social ladder..... u get the idea... anywayz, the oldies (ie. raj kiran n his wife) also live it up a lil bit n most of the happy scenes are all rushed through (nope sorry, not rushed through... "rush" is not a word to be used in the context of this movie ;)) in the same way as the tragic ones were... right! ofcourse with the help of a song... anywayz... the mom (saranya plays cheran's mom), kicks the bucket... the dad ofcourse retires back to the village to live again in the house which holds the precious memories of his wife... now the older son, isnt too well off ... comes crawling back to his dad n demands that the house be sold so he can get a share of it (to use for business or some such thing... dont really remember)... he then accuses the dad of being partial to his younger son... the old man is devastated... preoccupied with what his son accused him of, he slips while walking somewhere n slips into coma... regains consciousness only to ask his younger son if he too felt his dad hadnt done enough for him, n on being assured to the contrary, breathes his last... u think now that the ordeal is over, oops, sorry! u think the movie is finally over i mean; but no... theres more... the younger son promises to help his brother out... the movie finally ends with the audience gawking at the third generation poring over their grand-dads biography... n yup, they read it loud enough for us to hear and u finally see the credits after that... phew! AMEN! wat remains to be done is to wake up the sleeping members of ur party, (which u put together with gr8 enthusiam for a second show), curse the moment u decided to watch this movie, n walk out of the theatre more bored than a month of lectures can make u... parting shot: penance refers to the title n repentance refers to ur foremost reaction on seeing the movie :D

Bluffing all the way...

2006-01-10T04:42:00.000-08:00

After a long long long period of dormancy, ive finally decided to post another entry... :) wondering wat to write abt... and i think ive kinda decided to prolly write a review for "thavamai thavam irundhu" or "bluffmaster" which were the last two movies i saw... hmm... lemme see... i think i'll get the second one over with first... will explain why later on..... anywayz, this is going to be a totally unique review... as in, facts may be wrong, the account may be splotchy... events may not be in order... but hey, u ppl have no right to complain, coz i aint charging u to read it ;)

BLUFFMASTER

well, let me tell u, the first reason i went for this particular movie was that i wanted to check out "6 degrees" in satyam, which, my cuz informed me, was the best theatre in chennai... n well, i had nothing better to do n yeah im batty abt the song "right here right now"... all i can say is that the movie didnt disappoint me as such.. but yeah it didnt make me wanna go "I WANT MORE"... one gets to see pleasant faces (oohhh.... this a mild way of putting it... bacchan junior has all of a sudden become so macho n cool n hip... n as for the former miss. world, hey!!! who am i to comment on her???) but that apart there was nothing in the movie which actually stood out... very flimsy storyline, infact im wondering if there was one at all... the movie starts with a supposed cool robbery of sorts, planned n executed by bacchan junior... (now think abt it, i dont remember if there was a song which kickstarted the movie... man! memory is getting really really bad)... anywayz, i do remember there was a song after the successful heist... ;) tinu anand plays this film producer who is taken for a sucker n who in the process fattens abishek's pocket... and yup, the dude (i mean bacchan junior not tinu anand) is in love with miss chopra n she is madly in love with him too, the guy suavely n with gr8 flair proposes, the couple get engaged... as in the rings are in place on their fingers ;) n then it turns out, the film producer is a guy on the guest's list... hoo hoo... so yeah, the cat is let outta the bag, n the newly betrothed, happily (no not really, shes awfully disappointed n distraught, but im just being sarcastic... ) so as i was saying, she happily pulls off the engagement ring n gives it to the aghast abishek... cut... enter ritesh deshmukh... n no, i dont remember any of their on screen names... ;) like i said, u cant complain... now... getting bak to the story... where was i??? of yeah, ritesh enters... there's this stupid stunt he tries on our "bluffmaster" (bacchan junior is kinda annoying to type n anywayz the guy refers to himself as bluffmaster n yeah, i remember now, his screen name is ROY!)... n abishek gets the better of him... now... theres this doctor character, played by boman irani... ritesh n his cronie try robbing him, but their plans are foiled by abishek... the two's paths cross again n this time abishek suddenly gets dizzy n swoons... ritesh to the rescue! hero wakes up in ritesh's dingy appartments n this leads to the oh-so-sad story of ritesh.... it so happens, the guy wants to ace in the art of cheating too... n when he realises our hero is a natural at it, wants him to be his "guru"... anywayz, there's this bit abt how ritesh's dad lost all his money coz of this don guy, who is nana patekar by the way, n due to which he loses his mind n is suffering from actue amnesia n is stashed away in a loony hospital... now abishek has a recurrence of his swooning fit... he is examined by boman, who then dramatically explains with an x-ray, abishek's incurable tumour-in-the-brain... i didnt get much of it, but yeah, the guy is terminally ill... he is given 3 months to live... meanwhile, our hero's efforts at getting his lady love bak were all in vain n the woman goes n gets herself betrothed to this other guy (who i found cute too btw)... anywayz, when the dame hears abishek is soon to kick the bucket, she breaks her engagement n gets bak to him... :) now... abishek is egged on by the doctor to live wat remains of his life well...so he decides to help ritesh in his revenge mission... so these guys go abt planning how best to trick nana patekar... they assume the identity of 2 guys who are wanted for looting sparklers n get themselves a room in patekar's hotel... they strike a deal with patekar to trade the diamonds... make away with the money in exchange for fake diamonds... (believe me its not as simple as i put it now... loadsa rigmarole leading upto this...) the hero also finds out from the hearty doctor that there is a small chance that he can survive, only loadsa money is reqd... we then get a glimpse of the hero's savings which happens to be quite a lot... meanwhile, the furious patekar kidnaps miss. chopra... demands a ransom... abishek goes to the rescue... yup, he selflessly offers the money he intended to use for his treatment.... the girl is set free... hero is pushed off the many storeyed building.................. he falls, falls, falls.... on to this big float like thing... u know the kind we jumped on as kids??? only diff is that we had ones shaped like castles, whereas this thing is a big rectangle thing with a bullseye painted on it right in the middle... so the guy is safe n sound... now.... the movie was pretty nice till this point... wat happened after this is wat i found kinda funny... ppl come swarming upto him asking him which movie is being filmed... the guy fights them off, checks out the terrace to find that the villains r nowhere around.. checks on ritesh's address, checks on the doctor's address, checks on the loony hospital... all to no avail... explanation: ritesh happens to be tinu anand's son... to pay abishek back for wat he did to his father, ritesh plans the whole bit abt patekar, the tumour, the doctor, the new guy in ms.chopra's life... etc etc etc... patekar happens to be a script writer, a cowardy custard in real life, his curvaceous play thing happens to be his sorry oops! sari-clad wife... boman irani is a vet.... all very easily explained... n yup priyanka chopra happens to be part of the whole plan too... so in 5 minutes the whole thing is wrapped up nice n jolly n the hero n heroine look to all intents n purposes very much on the verge of living happily-ever-after....

phew! thats done... n after that came wat id been waiting for all the while... "right here right now", with the credits on the right panel... ;) dont know which i was more glad to see... ;)

i take it, that was one heck of a muddling review, prolly u wish id never invited u to read it, but take my word for it, the movie would have given u a similar feeling esp after the last 5-10 minutes... keep checking, i expect thavam thavam... to be a hillarious read.... if n when i do post it! ;) toodle-oooo

I, Me, Myself....

2005-07-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

I thought I would almost never let the blogging bug bite me! But turns out I was sadly mistaken... Furthermore, the more blogs I check out, the less pointless the whole idea seems to be... :D Anywayz, I'm usually pretty fond of airing my opinions loud and clear for almost everyone to hear (oooh! that rhymes!) so I thought I might as well use this as a medium... And well, don't let that line make you think I'm just a regular snobbish girl who likes the sound of her voice... Your'e wrong... I ain't regular... No siree! I'm UNIQUE! ;) Well, that would have just about convinced you that I'm far from being modest... To a certain extent that's true, but at times, I surprise myself and other people by turning humble and down-to-earth, just like that! I guess I will make this blog a description of your's truly... I was wondering what the subject of my first ever blog would be... And I guess there's no better topic, but yourself! And probably it will help me understand my thought processes better! (yup, at times, I get pretty confused!)
Well, I guess I will be predictable and first list out my likes and dislikes....

I LOVE: books, music, dogs, rain, mann-vaasanai just after it has rained, beaches, sms-ing, shopping, travelling, day-dreaming... (the list could go on n on believe me!)

I HATE: hypocrites, reptiles, waiting, lectures that seem to go on for hours, exams, ppl who wear glares in the dark (this list is also endless...)

As you probably noticed (or didn't), I'm a person who has extreme opinions... I'ts either "love" or "hate"... there's no where in between... umm... still wondering if this is "good" or "bad" :D
The one thing that I do all the time is sing... I sing when I'm happy, I sing when I'm sad.... I sing when I'm bored... or just sing for the sake of singing! Deep down, one cherished aim is to cut a record-breaking album sometime... With God's grace, it might materialise sometime... That's another aspect of me... I'm religious... Not really the I-go-to-the-temple-everyday kind (though I do like going to temples)... I perceive God as a friend... someone I can converse with even if I'm not in a temple in the presence of a deity... I've been brought up to believe "More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of"....

I'm happy when I'm curled up with a book... I read only fiction and my fave authors include Erle Stanley Gardner, Georgette Heyer, Barbara Cartland, Daphne du Maurier, J.K.Rowling... I like being alone sometimes, with nothing but a book for company... Very few things I can think of that would beat that!
I like to have my space... and always try giving ppl theirs... I dont like to go-with-the-flow and do things just coz they've been acknowledged to be just-the-thing-to-do... I like experimenting... I like to believe I have a decent sense of humour... Always ready for a good laugh... Love to laugh heartily (and in a very un-lady-like manner!) and am always a hopeless sucker for a good joke! Love spontaneous wit and a person who can make me laugh always has a place among my most treasured friends... I don't believe in the cinematic kind of friendship... To me, friendship is something that doesn't require you to keep in touch constantly or giving up your life for your friend... according to me, if true friends were to call each other after years, they would be able to pick up from where they left, with ease... after all, isn't that what friendship is all about- being comfortable??? and rather than giving up my life, I would do everything in my power to save my friend's... more practical... :D okie dokie... I don't like being so serious... So let me think of something else...
Since I can't think of anything else, I guess I'll just wind up... ;) Let's see how this blog stuff works!!!!