boys will be boys???

pasanga... i didnt quite have any ideas about this one... but what i saw was probably not something i would have imagined in my wildest dreams... how far can you go to ensure that a movie becomes commercially viable?? the answer to that probably keeps changing every day... think about it.... what shocked my mother, doesnt shock me... what shocks me, probably doesn't shock a person 2 yrs younger than i... its funny, but it seems to me, that a "generation gap" doesn't quite mean the same thing that it did before...

well, as far as pasanga was concerned, i couldn't stomach the language that the children (if you can call them that!!!) were using... why, i haven't heard most of those words before in my life! i might be old-fashioned, but i think children must be children! their innocence is something that has to be cherished and kept alive for as long as is possible! there's all the time in the world to be a grown-up... heck! that's all you're going to be all your life anyway...

the movie doesn't deserve a scene by scene review! i'm quite out of patience with it and i don't think i'll survive reliving the whole 3 hours!! will satisfy myself with outlining a few things that i felt most strongly about!

• the movie was a crash course on atrocious-things-kids-could-do-to-get-their-way... sticking a compass into a fellow student's rear and pee-ing n poo-ing on a neighbour's porch/vehicle aren't really appreciable methods! clearly the director thought otherwise!
• the bad boy - Jeeva... what can i say? if i see him now, i'll give him the best slap i can manage!!!! devil child! hate his shrill voice, his wicked looks and everything he stood for in the movie! ugh!
• the good boy - Anbukarasu... again! what can i say? way too big for his boots! nauseatingly good... and his love for applause - nothing short of disgusting!
• ok, one thing i liked about the movie - parents shouldn't quarrel in front of their kids... good point that's been begging to be made... only i can't say i liked the way they stretched this point to the limit!
• i wish someone will tell me if the character that falls in love with mr. meenakshi sundaram is called sobykannu or sophiekannu... either way the name is not to my taste... well... the romantic interludes were ummm.... nice... but again, like every other part of the movie, subjected to the chewing gum effect...
• the kill bill tune was my ringtone too... the way it was played over n over again in this movie has made me change it!
• this movie had me ho-ing and humm-ing throughout...
• i do not, i repeat, do not think its cute when a 2 yr old child repeats cine dialogues like pichi-poduven-pichi or konnu-poduven-konnu... its plain annoying!

hmmm... i'd like to see what other people think about this movie... it may be cheered on as a brilliant effort, considering very few movies in india are made with children in view... but i do wish people involved in such projects take care to send the right message across and greater care to package it well... children are impressionable... we dont want 3 hours at the theatre doing away with all the good stuff they're made of!

Relief

I wonder how many of you have actually felt this emotion... in its full measure...

I have...

16 months... setback after setback... chasing after some oasis... only to find out it's a mirage...

16 months... of waiting... hoping... praying...

16 months... of frustration... desperation...

16 months... of trudging along... hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel...

it all boiled down to 1.3 hours... that's how long the checkride was...

in the end... it was all well worth it...

i am - a Commercial Multi Engine Pilot...

Relief? oh yeah! I've experienced it... in its fullest measure...

Nothing Depressing - 1

I just got off this call with my Mom... turns out a couple of her friends checked out my blog and didn't go past one entry as they found it too depressing... made me think... really... I'd always liked to think I was a jolly, fun-loving, crazy, kooky person who didn't mind spouting irrelevant nonsense and meaningless drivel if it made someone laugh... and now I'm a wet-blanket each time I can manage to be one, a negative-Nancy, a sad, depressed mopey dog, a person who almost has to be paid to smile, a woe-is-me plain Jane who is just no fun at all... the only place I'd fit right in, is at a funeral!

Why the change, you ask? refer to my previous post... or maybe you rather not... you might feel so wretched, you'd never ever check my blogs again... maybe it's time for a change... or should I say, maybe it's time to undo the change... which is why, I figured, I'd start off with a nice happy post... (I'm sure I heard those sighs of relief)... after all, who wants to read one depressing post after the other? (I guess no one does... which explains why I have the most unpopular blog on the net... :D well at least I'm superlative in one sense...)

I then wondered if I had done anything remotely funny to blog about... forget funny... anything that might make someone (/anyone) smile... it then struck me... I've never blogged about my ongoing battle... the battle of the bulge... (pilfered that from Archies comics... there! i acknowledged that fact... don't want no copyright people hounding me!)

Well, even though most people who've known me might find this hard to believe... I wasn't always fat... sigh... only I've been fat ever since I can remember.... think I was a normal sized kid... till around the 4th... and since then... there's been a steady growth along the x axis... I've always wished I was a little less prosperous, but you know what they say... if wishes were horses...

I completely let go after the 10th... school hours changed and with it came more sleeptime... right after lunch... so i grew... more rotund than ever... the only time I ever did anything to check the growing prosperity was just before I left to the States... a pilot can't afford to be chubby, so I started gymming... lost 7kgs and was extremely proud of it!

Well, what with McDonalds and Qdoba and Panda Express and Starbucks and ColdStone and a million other eateries that I soon began patronising... the weight that I'd fought off, started challenging me again... the school shutting down just about did it... had to cancel my membership at Inshape (funny... no one who came there was in shape... ironical...), the gym that I went to every now and then... (more "then" than "now"...) still things weren't so out of hand... till we started flying so much that the only time we had to eat was in between flights... ha ha... I bet you think they were hurried meals, a few nibbles... huh? oh! you're so so wrong... we ate in style... at a different airport cafe each day... you've to eat this food to realize what it can do to you... else, you can take the safer way out and see what it did to me... :D

The result is that I reached my highest ever... (thought I'd disclose the no., but what the heck... I've always wanted to say this - that's for me to know & for you to find out! :D

Do I regret being overweight? sure I do! Especially in the fitting rooms! But thankfully, I've never kidded myself about my weight issues, so I've not had people hurting my feelings on that account! If there's a crack about the waistline, you bet I'm the one making it! ;)

Here are a few rules a prosperous/healthy/not-so-slim/un-skinny person, such as I, lives by :
1. Emotional Eating : if something goes wrong... something has to go in...
2. Study Companions : if something has to get into my head, something else has to get into my mouth...
3. Polite Eating : if something tastes good, show your appreciation by eating some more... and some more... and then... some more...
4. Storing up : when unsure of when next, the next meal will be, leave nothing to chance, store up...
5. When you're really bored... and you have nothing else to do... EAT!!! :)

So the battle goes on... with rules like the above, there sure is treachery involved ;) wait a mintue! I think I'm going to wind up now... All this blogging has made me hungry!! Bon appetit! ;)

my experiences with aviation...

i remember the day i the day i held the brochure in my hands... the brochure from Phoenix East Aviation... i dont know if uve had one,,, but there it was... my "calling"... i thought "wow! this is wat i want to be!"... the brochure had in it pictures... pictures of wat my future wud hold... smart uniforms,,, groovy cockpits,,, a glamorous lifestyle... that's how this fiasco started... based on fancies... based on whims...

nothing much came out of it immediately though... dad didnt think it was for me... even though it was he who had sowed the seed of aviation in my brain... nothing... till ASA advertised... and again... it was my dad who brought it to my notice... it involved a lot of work... psychometry, class II medicals, KFA interview, trips to chennai and mumbai, visa interviews, bank trips... a whole lot of preparation... but there i was... leaving on a jetplane... to america... leaving on a jetplane... to learn to fly one...

i didnt really have any visions of wat america wud be like... but nothing... just nothing in my wildest dreams wudve prepared me for Atwater... dry as a desert... hot as a furnace... as boring as a geography class... it was in short... hell on earth!!! words cant describe the barracks... the carpets probably had never been cleaned since theyd been put there... the washbasin was perenially clogged.... the study was converted into a kitchen... it looked like it was ready for the wrecking ball... and the people... ive lived all my life in coimbatore... my dad is a teetotaller... ive never seen ppl drink... drink till they lost their senses and made fools out of themselves... till i got to ASA... it did take some getting used to... every night was disco night... music blared on and on... but i did get used to it... things didnt seem so bad once that happened... i lived my life... they lived theirs...

i waited... waited for 15 days for the ground classes to start... and then 3 months to start flying... wen i did start flying,,, it was once every fortnight... there's nothing as depressing as waiting at a flight school... dont argue till uve tried it!!! and then finally,,, ron appeared on the scene... flying picked up after that... things were pretty fine... except for a few hiccoughs... happens everywhere... right??? but then... came the 15th of may... a surprise meeting... in which we were told school wud be shut for 2 weeks... 2 weeks stretched on to 6 weeks... the worst in my life... not knowing... hoping... but still worrying if the worst wud come to be... it did... first the county shut the power and water connections... and then we were evicted... evicted!!! for god's sake!!!

ive never shifted houses ever... never ever in my whole life... well... never is a long time... n so... i had my dues to pay... and pay... i most certainly did! we'd been in the barracks 10 months... id never thrown anything away... id hoarded every bill,,, every brochure,,, every bit of junk that had come into my possession... and i had 2 hours (yes! 2 whole hours!!!) to sift through all that junk and keep wat i needed and do away with all that i didnt... it was hard... there was no time for sentiments or emotions... i was hard pressed for time... from the barracks to the gemini barracks... from there to motel 6... motel 6 to the apartment in dublin... and a month from then to extended stay... then to the apartment in livermore... i lived out of suitcases... ate junk... drove around... all this when the guilt hung over my head... pretty heavy... $25,000 heavy...

finding the apartment had been an accomplishment in itself... there was a day i broke down,,, midway between our house-hunt... we'd approach someone... they would show us the place... we'd sit down for paperwork... and then be asked for credit history... cruel joke... believe me, you,,, dont ever come to the states on an M1 visa! its a cruel joke!!! we'd re-enacted this drama so many times that i eventually lost count... i guess God eventually thought he'd step in and help... ive no other explanation for it...

the 2 months that followed were good... we flew our brains out!!! airport to airport... we were living the dream... life was good!!! best part of my flying career... marine layers, ils-es, vors, clearances... i loved it all... we had our instrument ratings before long...

there are times u have to make decisions... once u make one, it can go two ways... if it takes off, the world is in love with you... if it fails, u have reproaches, i-told-u-so-s, and worse still guilt to contend with... well, to cut a long story short, we got the latter...

shifted again... i dont even remember where we went and wat we did... its all a blur... but we did it with the best intentions... but i guess good intentions are not all that count... after a lot of starting trouble,,, things did get rolling... im sure ur thinking... "uh oh! a positive note?? wonder wat went wrong this time!"... if that is wat ur thinking... go ahead and pat urself on the back... it just means uve been paying attention to this rather lengthy tale of woe!! well... to cut a long story short (wonder why i didnt think of it b4 now...), i happened to taxi a lil too close to the threshold lights... the propeller kinda objected to this act of mine... sigh... the result... we're back to waiting... the sense of guilt is 100 times more pronounced this time around... there's money involved... as always... and worse still,,, im responsible for so many others having to wait... it doesnt help knowing that it was a mistake that couldve happened to anybody... it did happen to me... and thats hard to live with...

every time something went wrong i consoled myself saying "this is as bad as it gets... cant get any worse..." and every time ive been proved wrong... if all this is a test of character,,, i dont really know if ive passed or failed... if its just bad luck,,, i can only hope it has run its course...

i dont know wat the future has in store for me... bad weather is a certainty,,, its already begun to rear its ugly head at us... aviation in india is in a slump... for wat period of time, only time can tell... everything looks bleak... im as close as can be to losing faith... if miracles still happen,,, i sure could use one now!!!

wat continues to be a consolation is the support i have... from my folks back home... after all this,,, they still believe in me... they still think things will turn around... i will feed off their hope,,, till im brave enough... to hope again...

between then and now...

ok... its been a long time since i blogged... there have been many things ive felt strongly about... but havent blogged about... on one hand im depressed abt turning 23 tomorrow... and on the other im trying not to be... the highlight of my bday is going to be a 9 hour drive from norcal to socal... sigh... can i ask for anything better? :D anywayz... these are few of the things i should have blogged abt and didnt...

1. i love opera... ever since i heard andrew johnston...
2. i love clouds... they reaffirm the fact that the skies are where i belong...
3. friends can turn into foes... and all it takes is a few moments...
4. the best type of friends are the ones who've been around ever since you can remember...
5. spontaneity is not for me... i whine n fret too much later!
6. the past one year has been my best and my worst...

there are other things i almost blogged about and didnt... when my failing memory tracks them,,, i will put them down... here's to my 23rd... cheers!